Biting......on the face or anywhere.

So, on Tuesday, Lois bit Dylan three times. All in the same situation, Dylan had stopped playing with a toy. Lois grabbed the toy and Dylan tried to take it back. Lois bit Dylan's hand. Lois was immediately sat down in a chair and told not to bite. Dylan was told not to fight over toys.

Today at playgroup. Everything was going fine until we started to put things away. From what I saw, which was the actual bite, Dylan was either pushing Lois or giving her a hug. I'm pretty sure he was pushing her and admitted to it later, but after I prodded him for it. Anyway, Lois bit him on the cheek. Dylan immediately started screaming and crying. He's fine but will have a scratch/contusion and a nice bruise.

So, I'm going to go over the suggested methods to stop a toddler from biting. This suggestion is from The Baby Book by the Sear family of doctors, they've written how to parenting books pertaining to everything from discipline, sleeping, ADD, and the successful child.

Here's what they suggest. (I'm assuming that most literature will say similiar things, but I'll look into it and edit this post if I need to)

• Teach Alternatives. Give a baby words and gestures to express feelings.

• Track the trigger. Keep a diary of what circumstances set off agressive behavior, such as fighting over toys and tiredness. Get behind the eyes of your child to see what trivggers the biting. What causes it?

• Tame the play. If you see a mean streak or an aggressive streak coming try and tone down the play. Talk about the difference betwen bear hugs (good for mom and dad) and bunny hugs (good for fellow toddlers). Overall, balance aggressive play with gentle play.

• Actively supervise. Keep an eye on the whole play situation, with others, so you can isolate the biter as soon as it happens. Reinforce the isolation with appropriate admonitions, such as, "biting hurts and it's wrong to hurt, and we're going to sit on the chair to think about why you should not bite". If a child can talk and understands, encourage an "I'm sorry". The child needs to connect biting with an immediate removal from the scene of the crime. Teaching that an undesirable behavior leads to undersirable consequences.

• Remove the spotlight. If the baby is biting for attention, channel baby into more socially acceptable attention-getting habits. Praise his good behavior and down-grade the importance of biting.

• Model, model, model. A baby that lives with aggression becomes aggressive. Example, a toddler hitting his mother, where upon she immediately lashed out, "Don't hit me," as she slapped his hand. It's obvious where the child is getting the behavior. Absolutely, don't bite your child back!

• Show and tell. If he won't take your word for it, here is a technique that parents have used successfully to make the point: press your child's forearm against his upper teeth as if he were biting himself, but not in a punitive, angry way. Reinforce his self-produced marks on his own arm with "see, biting hurts!" Administer this self-biting lesson immediately after your child bites someone, so that he makes the connection that biting hurts.

• Hurt relationships. It is important to get your child right about biting. It can potentially ruin your relationships between other parents.